he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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