btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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