Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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