Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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