She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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