I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
