We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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