Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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