my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
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