omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
