Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
