yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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