David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize