Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
