The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize