I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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