are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
