im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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