i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
