I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You need a sexual gate keeper
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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