White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
one might say we're banned from that church
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
