Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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