I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
