She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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