if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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