Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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