I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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