Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
