I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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