Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize