Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
