so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
