I CAN MOONWALK!
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
