four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
