How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
a search helicopter?!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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