She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
