I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
