Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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