new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
