Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
