i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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