She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
