Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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