I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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