What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
