Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
