ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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