Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
