Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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