the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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