But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i drank out of a bidet.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
