so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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