I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
