never play flip cup with pint glasses
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
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