I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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