we have officially lost it.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
