You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
