I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
