I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
