Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
