Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
