Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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